At about the same time the snow began to fly last fall, we started to go through our home room by room and we began our first wave of downsizing.
It began smoothly. We started on the top floor, so most of it either needed to go to another room, or was put in our basement storage room for final decision later.
Now it’s ‘final decision time’ and I am afraid to start making those decisions.
At first I thought I was just being lazy. I didn’t want to go through everything and permanently remove some items from my home. Then I thought maybe I had some hoarding tendencies and this hesitation was just my gateway to living with newspapers stacked floor to ceiling and me not being able to find our two cats among the ‘stuff’.
Now I think I am just afraid of the implied change that it brings.
Our girls are growing up and they don’t need any of their baby toys anymore (although if they saw them hidden away, they would argue that they do). I know that I can’t document every second of their day and I worry that I will forget some of our wonderful moments when I don’t have their toys to look at and remember.
Then there are the souvenirs I picked up during my travels (before I met my husband), and the beautiful, breakable decorations I used to have in our house (before we had kids). I am torn between keeping them and remembering past moments, and donating them and, well, moving on.
So in an effort to stop time and catch my breath, I sat here last night and typed this post as my husband was downstairs tearing through his stuff and donating like crazy.
Clearly he is not as conflicted as I am.