It is so embarrassing to admit this, but I have an irrational fear of zombies. Yes, I know zombies don’t exist; I said ‘irrational’ didn’t I?
My top three fears (in order) are:
1) something happening to my kids or husband
3) natural disaster
I know this isn’t right. Not only did I put zombies as my number two worst fear, but I also didn’t even list an actual real life disease outbreak in there.
It isn’t the gore that goes along with eating brains that I hate. I find that part kind of entertaining. I guess you can say I have a kind of ‘enjoy / fear’ relationship with zombies. I would love to dress up and participate in one of those ‘Walking Dead’ nights where groups of people walk city streets as zombies, usually around Halloween. At the same time though, when I have nightmares at night now (which isn’t often), they usually involve zombies.
And, if I don’t say so myself, I think I would make a pretty fine looking zombie. If you like that sort of thing. Check me out.
So why do I have this fear now? I blame the evolution of the zombie.
When zombie movies first came around, they walked so slow that you could always outrun them. Their only hope of eating brains was catching you by surprise, falling on you, or getting you while you slept because you chose the dumbest guy in the group to be your lookout, and he fell asleep too.
Nowadays, they are super-sprinters. Actually, when I work out now, in the back of my head, I sometimes think that one day I will need to be in good enough shape to carry my girls and outrun at least someone else. Not only can they run fast, but if you check out some of the games that are out these days, they have bulged out and their physique can rival any championship bodybuilder.
So, in an effort to reel in my fear, I turn to search engines to put everything in to perspective and remind myself that I am being silly. I start typing and … wait for it … oh no you di’int.
I’m scared of zombies.